LA(O)ST PROMISE

My sudden presence lit up your face

But your plight filled me with sorrow

With a drop of tear in the corner of an eye

And a hope of a miracle on your face

You pleaded to me to be brought home

Knowing what is to be, tomorrow,

I promised one last time

It was one of many that I did not keep

Despite all those broken promises

Your faith in me never wavered

And it didn’t, that one last time too

Probably you knew what the future held

And the promise on that day too

Was more a rule than exceptions to it

Yet, you did believe and it was  

Very apparent on your serene face

That belief lulled you into one long sleep

Helpless, I looked around the room

Equally forlorn were siblings and our spouses too

Who till that day cared and nursed

 With hope and fortitude

Those very attributes deserted us that day   

We all watched helplessly as you drifted off

Into one long sleep, never to wake up again

A drop of tear in the corner of an eye

And a hope of a miracle on your face

The image is etched in my memory forever

Travails of Travelling

I hate traveling. I can’t say with certainty as to when I developed this dislike for traveling.  Because of the profession I have chosen at a very tender, ignorant would be a more suitable adjective, age I travel quite a bit. Probably this frequent traveling coupled with not so recent global phenomenon called security concerns had turned my reluctance for traveling into a very strong dislike for it.  

Much as I detest the ordeal recently I had to travel to Mumbai for some personal work. I was very reluctant to leave the comforts of home to embark on something that I dislike with all my heart. So, as is the habit, I kept delaying my departure from home to the last possible minute. This deliberate delay was despite being aware of the much dreaded “Murphy’s Law”. Did things go wrong on that day? Sure they did.

I always felt that the cab drivers in Hyderabad never drove their cabs too fast. Instead they flew their cars too low, with arrogant disregard for rule of the road. That day I learnt for the first time that there are some sensible(or sloppy) ones who drove with extreme caution, or was it early morning grogginess, on the empty roads of twilight hours. I did reach the airport safely, courtesy the safest cab ride I have ever had. The sight at the airport gave me a rude shock and jolted me out of my slumber. For a moment I thought I had by some terrible mistake landed at railway station. I looked around agitatedly to ascertain that I did indeed reach the place I set out for from the cozy confines of home.  Now, with my whereabouts established, I approached check-in counter with characteristic hesitation. That part of the trip passed off without an event. With that first success of the morning I started feeling confident and hurried towards the area for security check. My new found confidence deflated in a rush at the sight of the serpentine queues there. I made my way to the end of the queue anxiously. After planting myself at the end of the long line I started looking around for the airline employees calling “Passengers to Mumbai on our flight…… “. Finally, after an eternal wait of 15 minutes, I heard one of the girls in a blue uniform say the exact same thing I was hoping she would. I felt very relieved and rushed to the front of the queue.

I chucked my bag on the conveyor of the X-ray scanner and went through the security check feeling a little certain that I wouldn’t after all miss the flight. Having completed the far too familiar loathsome feeling over routine, by the way it is called a security check, by an indifferent looking security guy; I proceeded to collect my bag. Here I ran into a guy who planted himself in front of the scanner and without any sense of urgency or consideration for fellow travelers went on picking up his things, which were spilling out from the open bag, at an annoyingly slow pace. While he was at it he kept complaining with a condescending arrogance- am I being judgmental here, maybe I am- that the sloppiness of the security team and not his indiscretion that caused the spillage. After what looked like an eternity he moved aside and allowed me to collect my belongings. I picked up my laptop, shoved it into my bag and ran towards the gate designated for my flight.

The gate was closed and the area was deserted. Even a first time traveler would have realized that the flight had departed. However, my ego wouldn’t allow me to believe that the aircraft did leave without me. The airline surely can’t do that, not to me at that. After an angst ridden wait of a few minutes the truth had sunk in and I reluctantly swallowed my gratuitous pride. With a sense of relief brought about by a bitter medicine called “swallowed pride”, I approached the airline officials for help. They were very courteous and explained me situation very clearly. Being the cynic that I am, I began suspecting their intent. Well, here I learnt that this amicable demeanor is a quality necessitated modern(competitive) business ethics(compulsions). Competition does indeed bring the best out of anybody, even in unruly- am I being judgmental again?- youth of today. Unfortunately this is not so in the case of our famed cricket team. Anyway, this pleasant young man told me that I can take their next flight, which is about 6 hours later and that I will have to pay the fare difference with a fine. I told the young man that it is important that I reach Mumbai urgently. He advised me that I can alternatively try other airlines. I agreed and at this point he started a process which is a reverse process of earlier security check. He got me a ticket on another airline and told me to go for the security check. The mention of this very procedure gave me that all too familiar uneasy feeling. With same old dread look on my face I walked towards security area. I couldn’t believe what I saw there. The area was practically empty and the long winding queues were conspicuous by their absence. I felt that the madness of few moments earlier was a conspiracy to make me miss my flight and set me back by a few rupees. This time I did not suffer any snobs in the line and breezed through the process. I walked towards the departure gates with juxtaposed contrasting feelings of relief that I will after all make it to Mumbai in time and dismay that the world had conspired against me to cause financial ruination of sorts. I boarded the flight to Mumbai for my rendezvous there. Well, was it smooth sailing from here on? That is another story for another day.

Of Indulgence & Inhibitions

After his explosive century against NZ in 1987 world cup, Sunny Gavaskar is supposed to have said that he, at times, wished that he could have batted like Chika. Well, these two gentlemen were indeed a study in contrast. While one was a purist and stickler to perfection and the other was unorthodox and impulsive. They had different attitude, cricketing and otherwise, in their playing days. When you consider these characteristics the wish would indeed have sounded a little wishful in thought and farfetched. In normal circumstances one would have dismissed the thought as preposterous. Or could they have? If we give the matter a little thought it would at once look very prosaic.

Hasn’t every one of us, at one time or the other, entertained a wish or two on similar lines as Sunny had expressed? You are attending a party and you see a person who with his gregarious nature and easy manners is attracting all the attention. Wouldn’t you for a second feel you were more like that person and be the cynosure of the gathering?  

“Wish I could have let my hair down and enjoyed the evening like Ms. Free Soul” or “I too should learn to dance like Mr. Care Free” are some of the frequently felt feelings of a sizable number of people. Why do we refrain ourselves from doing any of these wild or bizarre things? Is it because these acts are ludicrous and we may look foolish indulging in them?  If they are indeed so weird we should not be thinking of indulging in them. But our wisdom tells us otherwise. They are indeed fun filled, we know that, and the demeanor of the person lost in the act bears testimony to that.  Think of the silliest and the craziest thing you have ever done. That thought alone is enough to make you feel a rush of excitement come over you. You are sure to have a hearty laugh at your madness just recounting it.

Then, what is it that stops us from plunging headlong into a seemingly playful jig or join in a joyous chorus?  We know it can be fun, yet we deny ourselves. We are worried that we may look downright silly. We are worried that others may poke fun at us. We are prisoners of our inhibitions. On rare occasions we manage to slip out of the prison by locking these inhibitions in the same prison, we are greeted by some strange observations. Such as, “What was wrong with you?” or “Have you had a drink too many?” Spirit of consumable kind being given credit for your spirited effort to banish the inhibitions can be the most uncharitable comment. These unkind remarks can throw us back in the prison and set free the inhibitions. So, what shall we do? We shall lose the key to the prison. The key can only be thrown away if we can ignore these comments the first time we hear them and prove to our detractors that the spirit is from within, not imbibed from without.  So, go ahead and indulge, you may not regret it. You sure will, if you do not.    

Now there are exceptions to it. Let us say you see your boss charging down the aisle like a rampaging bull to give you or one of your dear friends a piece of his/her mind, what would your thoughts be? Wouldn’t the idea of trading places with your boss and paying back him/her in (more than) their own coin not cross your mind ever? Well, indulgence here can immensely be gratifying. However, that will be transient and you may regret the momentary rush of adrenalin. So, indulge by all means, but at your own peril.

I wonder if Chika hadn’t entertained the thoughts of playing like Gavaskar. He sure would have.  Who in this world wouldn’t like staking claim to the title “Mr. Perfectionist”? Perfection is the ability to consistently produce that something extraordinaire in adversity too. It is one attribute that can face any challenge thrown at you. Perfection is a quality or trait that cannot be aped. It is a quality to be admired and emulated. Now, that said, it is the exuberance and aggression of characters like Chika that enhances the entertainment quotient of any event and make it exciting. Though people like Gavaskar bring perfection into anything they do, it is people like Chika who add color and breathe life into the whole act. Wouldn’t you agree that life would be dull and dreary if it were perfect? 

New Year Wish

Yet another New Year is here again

It is but a passing moment in time,

In which we bury past year’s pain

With it no more encounter we wish to claim

The year, while it lasted, seemed too long

Come, let us ring out the old and ring in the New Year

With boisterous cheer and a joyous song

For it brings Dreams and hopes we hold dear

A dream for a world free of any strife

And humanity purged of terror creed

A wish for prosperity to unfortunate waif

And demise of ubiquitous political greed

A dream for a year starved of hunger death

And a year where no child ever needs to toil 

A wish for a year sans rapes and wasted girl’s breath

And no more misery to the tillers of soil

A dream for a year without any scams

And a society aware of, as it is of rights, its duty

A wish for fortitude to face life’s storms

And a heart to marvel at nature’s beauty

 I would also wish for a little pain

And a few moments that are somber

For I may fail to appreciate good time

In my joyousness induced slumber